To let know of how it feels is a question itself
A challenge
Maybe I could one day
but I stop at ‘could’.
“We’ve all been anxious so we know” they say
pushing my words and backing me away.
“You and your anxiety is in your head” they say
and I know, nobody does really care.
I wince when my phone rings
hoping to never have to answer
hoping I never had a phone
but I want a phone
with all the mental struggles of a minute
the ringing feels louder and it hurts my brain
but relieved to see my mom calling.
“A human is a social animal.”
I am a social animal.
Eternity of joy I find within my self
to be talking to my mind
about the mind twisting movie I watched last week
to solve and feel like Sherlock Holmes
to watch the colors of butterflies like a hopeless romantic
and drown in my thoughts of vast universe.
“You’re not an introvert, you’re just lazy” they say
how do I make one understand
that being in a crowd doesn’t make a party animal
talking to people doesn’t make one friendly, extrovert, outgoing,
how do I make one understand
the countless arguments inside my mind before giving my “Hello!”
Maybe this will all be over
and maybe it’ll take its time.
I am the edgy piece of rock in the river
and maybe one day I might not stop at ‘could’
maybe that I’ll actually say
I am not just another pebble in the river.
- J. Yogi
