To let know of how it feels is a question itself

A challenge

Maybe I could one day

but I stop at ‘could’.

“We’ve all been anxious so we know” they say

pushing my words and backing me away.

“You and your anxiety is in your head” they say

and I know, nobody does really care.

I wince when my phone rings

hoping to never have to answer

hoping I never had a phone

but I want a phone

with all the mental struggles of a minute

the ringing feels louder and it hurts my brain

but relieved to see my mom calling.

“A human is a social animal.”

I am a social animal.

Eternity of joy I find within my self

to be talking to my mind

about the mind twisting movie I watched last week

to solve and feel like Sherlock Holmes

to watch the colors of butterflies like a hopeless romantic

and drown in my thoughts of vast universe.

“You’re not an introvert, you’re just lazy” they say

how do I make one understand

that being in a crowd doesn’t make a party animal

talking to people doesn’t make one friendly, extrovert, outgoing,

how do I make one understand

the countless arguments inside my mind before giving my “Hello!”

Maybe this will all be over

and maybe it’ll take its time.

I am the edgy piece of rock in the river

and maybe one day I might not stop at ‘could’

maybe that I’ll actually say

I am not just another pebble in the river.

- J. Yogi