What He Did!!!

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

(An illustration on the thoughts of an abused girl)


The moment I took my breath in relief, my soul could feel serene,
All the colors and vibes, the stars and lights, it all emerged from within.
But what I thought of those dark times, of how I thought it was over,
A big slap of jokes was what it was, delusions caught me closer.
‘Let go’ were the words I yelled, but you held on to me tight,
Instead of hugs you strangled me, and you knew you weren’t right.
Suffocated much I was, for you thought to be an embrace,
Like a caged bird I cried I fretted, and my heartbeats slowed its pace.
Giving up seemed the only way, for the happening was off the beam,
No matter how much I despised your touch, you heartlessly muffled my screams.
How ruthless one could be, to live and not let live,
How mercilessly your eyes gleamed, your grips they made me writhe.
Did it not hurt you too, when you beat me black and blue?
Did your heart not tremble at all, when you saw what you put me through?
It was the night of ghouls, and your face painted in clown,
I’d feared it from my infancy, an indication if I had known.
You ripped off what I wore, killing every bounds of shame,
The colors smeared on my skin, from a face that had no name.
You were taking all I had, and the ceiling conversed with me,
The patterns and the wallpaper, seemed intriguing than it should be.
For I opted to zone out, from the brutal reality,
To save me of disgust, or the pain you were causing me.
What I’d give to the one I love, you wrenched it selfishly,
A savage you were to me, unanswered went all my plea.
Foggy went my vision, your painted face seemed blur,
Dizzy of the blood in my throat, a nightmare I wished it were.
You bruised my body of sores, of dishonor and disgrace,
But the scar you put on my soul, can never be replaced.

Shoot with Brij

Wednesday, October 29, 2014


It was a day of shoot with Brij (Brijraj Shumsher Thapa) and it got more challenging cause it rained proper heavy. So, here I share few of my photos of that day where we tried being productive :)


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Cheers! 








Chose to Stay Blind

Tuesday, October 07, 2014

I walked the edge blindfolded,
Hand on hand, every steps on your call,
That fear of falling any moment,
The thuds of my heart, they said it all.
With my life and heart on my palm,
I let you keep it for me,
I let you lead the way for us,
I let you be the eyes to see.
As happy as much as I was,
Your presence your touch they faded,
I stretched out to feel the warmth again,
But nothing did I feel, I waited.
Then I felt a soft kiss on my lips,
And your little smile breaking in,
And a push I felt and I lost my ground,
The fall seeped me within.
The sudden silent noise,
The realization of your deed,
It killed me before my fall ended,
And forever my love shall bleed.

How True could My Love be

Sunday, October 05, 2014

I don’t ask much, but your love is what I long,
For one day is what I ask, for one day to play along.
I know not of tomorrow, but I know I have today,
For this life is too short for me, to wish to live my way.
You don’t have to love me, but I’d ask you to pretend,
Pretend that you love me, your one day could you lend?
I would give you the warmest hugs, on my laps I’d let you lay,
I would hold your hands and kiss your lips, I would wish for you to stay.
With you I'd spend my night, I would adore your charm,
I would snuggle up in a ball, I would sleep in your arms.
It would cut my heart to pieces, it would cut me very deep,
Knowing that you’ll leave me, when the sun’s no more asleep.
But I’d still kiss your lips, I'd rest my face on your palm,
I’d wish my life to end right then, to not face the separating storm.
I know you don’t feel the way I do, neither have you wished the same,
I know I mean nothing at all, and no you’re not to be blamed.
But I shall let the morning rise, I shall let you go,
I shall let you leave me behind, and let my tears flow.
I would bury deep in my blanks, I would cry my heart out,
With broken and heavy heart I’d try, to learn to live without.
I love you so much that it hurts, without you I’m stray,
But one day’s better than never, just one day is what I say.
So one last time I ask of you, to not push me away,
I don’t ask of forever, but forever could be a day.

-J

Sometimes

Sunday, October 05, 2014

Sometimes you let go,
Of what you desire the most,
Sometimes you calm your heart,
You save it from getting worst.
Sometimes you've gotta endure,
The impatience and the heartache,
Sometimes you've gotta hold,
All your tears of your heartbreak.
Sometimes you love someone,
But they may not feel the same,
Sometimes the story of theirs,
Could be worse and have no name.
Sometimes they're better off,
Living the life they accept,
Sometimes you've gotta try,
To know how bad they've wept.
Sometimes you've gotta be glad,
That you got to know that soul,
You don't need to make them yours,
The least could give them more.
So let the butterfly fly,
Don't catch it but admire,
Don't make them yours, don't frame them up,
But bless the make of higher.

Him

Sunday, October 05, 2014

You can't unsee what's seen,
It'll stay in your brains for long,
Cause I've seen that beautiful soul,
Making me blushing and singing this song.
No I will not lie,
No the feelings I will not hide,
No the words I will not hold,
No my heart I'll not misguide.
I love him to the core,
I love him my own way,
Like a stalker on him I pry,
Not once but everyday.
Confessions and truth,
Spilled my feelings with no shame,
Expressed my heart.. my thoughts,
And impatience played the game.
He gave the sweetest smile,
Then spoke off the track,
Broke my heart cause he said,
That he never loved me back.

Fate?

Sunday, October 05, 2014

I see through my window,
I see them downpour,
I see the drops on my pane,
I see how they flow.
Like the rain.. my tears,
They don't stop I know,
The pain that remains,
It won't just let go.
So stubborn I say,
The ill fate that grow,
For there lies no confusion,
If I'm an angel, if imma hoe.
But it does hit me hard,
At my heart..at its core,
What's left of me to be honest?
Its one life and I'm living low.