Too much love to be true

Monday, May 30, 2016

Why judge me if my room’s messy
If my hair’s un-brushed 
If my clothes are baggier than it should be?
I come off clean for you
cleaner than your list of exes
cleaner than your dirty thoughts
cleaner than you.
The pushed limits of self-esteem did break away my screams
you didn’t even know.
You’d smack my butt when I’d come hug you in front of your friends in public.
You’d squeeze my breast while I’d rest my head on your shoulder.
I try to cuddle and come closer
to feel safer
to feel happier and warmer
to feel like a princess.
But a whore is what you make the feelings feel.
I stripped my soul to you
but you wished to strip my clothes.
I cupped your face with my hands while you were low
but your hands went down my pants.
I tried to yank all your problems
but you yanked on to my hair,
wouldn’t even hear me scream.
I wanted to make love to you
but you wanted to have sex.
A hug from you is all I need when I’m scared
who do I go to when I’m scared
I’m scared of you.
The longing of hiding my face on your chest,
breathing your scent,
the want of not letting go
the want of you not letting go of me,
have become just wants.
You stare down at my neckline while I did my eye make-up for you
you ask me to lap dance my laptop while I wanted to see you before bed
you never saw my tears flow of pain while you wanted your adventure of pleasure.
I only wished to say “I love you too”
but never have I.

-J. Yogi

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4 comments

  1. powerful!!! really really powerful!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. This one hits hard like a wave.😍😍😍

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow ! This is one of the amazing poem I have ever read.
    Amazing write up ! :)

    ReplyDelete